Well as I'm sitting here writing this I'm doing something I feel awful about... I'm breaking Dry July. Chris is sitting opposite looking as regretful and sheepish as I've ever seen him but we have both decided that of all situations we deserve a drink this is it.
Our night started full energy, on our way to see Lana del Rey. Her tunes had been filling our house all week and I practically skipped into the Palace. Until the worst imaginable thing happened. We had gotten the night wrong. Our tickets were for the night before and we'd missed the show. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in my life. Poor Chris was so apologetic, he had been convinced it was the Tuesday night since booking. So now here we are, I don't blame him- these mistakes happen but I feel like the light has been taken out of me. We are both speechless. The lady at the door took some pity on us and told us to try at 10 when she goes on, so fingers crossed for that adventure, but for now.... Cheers! ……
Well the night turned into a great success! We marched back and the woman remembered us and laughed, Chris charmed her with his Scottish accent and we went straight in. We had missed the cover band but Lana Del Rey hadn't even come on yet! After not drinking for almost a full month and then sharing a bottle of red to drown our sorrows we were nice and tipsy and crept our way through the crowd to get a good spot. We have been to a few gigs this year, Seeker Lover Keeper was in a cathedral, Boy and Bear and Matt Corby were at the forum and some bigger acts at Rod Laver and Sidney Myer- so we were both a little disappointed at the layout of the venue in comparison. It was all general admission and although we were close to the front it was hard to get a good view of the stage. The crowd when we first lined up had been quite young, it was an over 18s gig so I'm guessing that most were under 21 however once we were inside it was a good mix of people and an energetic atmosphere.
Once she came on it was as good as we were expecting, her voice was amazing live. However it was very simple and she didn't introduce herself or communicate with the audience at all. Her best known song Video Games was on quite early in the set rather than finishing with it and i was so surprised when the show actually finished! It just ended, she had done barely 40minutes of performing and left out a lot of songs on her album. I don't recall her doing 2 of my favourite songs, 'Lucky ones' and 'Off to the races.' I was a bit disappointed. After everything we had gone through to get there to hear her play, we'd broken Dry July and had been so devastated when we thought we might not have made it. I was glad we went but overall I was expecting a bit more, there wasn't much energy in the performance and some people in the crowd were even saying that she didn't look well.
Regardless of that we were so relieved to have made it in, Chris is still kicking himself about checking the tickets so it's a good lesson. Even someone as organised as Chris can make mistakes! We had a great night in the end but Now I just feel awful that we had that bottle of wine. There was no real need for it, except as something to try to cheer us up. And it made me realise that even after 24 days without drinking how much my body has changed and waking up this morning I fell sluggish and slow and bloated. I also didn't sleep as well, I woke up a few times in the night so wasn't very rested.
I'm not going to give in just because of one little slip up and we will finish the month off with no more drinking. If anything Im glad we did have that drink because it really made me more determined than ever to change the pattern that I'd gotten into of seeing alcohol as a normal part of life. Surely waking up feeling like that two or 3 times a week can't be normal! My body had no idea what it was like to be healthy and I didn't even realise it myself. It's been a big year altogether, I've quit smoking, completed the half marathon and although I won't stop drinking altogether, doing Dry July certainly made me much more aware of the effects on my body.
A few people have asked me how I managed to quit smoking. It's a tough thing to do, I'd tried several times before and always gone back. For me it helped that my boyfriend didn't smoke so I wasn't around it as much but to his credit he never asked me to quit or hassled me about it. I think that can make it harder if there is too much pressure. Everybody has something that works for them, for me it was my mindset. I just kept thinking of myself as a non smoker, instead of saying I was trying to quit I'd say that I didn't smoke. If I had an occasional one with a friend I didn't beat myself up and go buy a pack. I just told myself that it was ok, because having 1 every few days was so much better than having a few every day. Eventually it had been a month since my last and when I smelt the smoke or even tried to have a puff it made me feel a bit sick. It's been about 5 months now and I'm actually really proud of myself. Obviously what I did wont work for everyone who tries to quit but its a good little story about how important positive thinking is to overcome our challenges and to look at the big picture when we have little setbacks. I'm looking forward to another amazing week, hopefully get up to some more adventures this weekend! xoxo 
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